Dear Tom,

We are completely impossible to define. I say this out of complete inadequacy in searching for a term that fits. There is no term, there is no verb, there is no way to describe it because even the retelling of the events leading up to...us, I guess, is biased, details scrubbed over and conversations lost in the abyss. I could use adjectives, but those fall short. All parts of speech fail when I try to explain to myself the way this works. The way I see it.

You said something that captures a certain aspect well: "I feel like I've known you for eternity and almost no time at all." I am constantly reminded that I've only been talking to you since the 27th of last month, and it never feels like enough time has elapsed. At the same time, I've missed so much sleep since then that I suppose time has stretched itself. Does time stretch for extraordinary people? Or do they stretch it themselves; can they hand-paint the world they live in? Are we extraordinary or are we fooling ourselves?

I've tried to count all the hours we spent together and I can't do it; it's all so much a blur and a flutter and I feel incredibly inarticulate about the whole thing. We sat on a hill. And I kissed you. I don't know why. But the conversation had been amazing and we were running out of time, so I thought it would be okay to go with an impulse, to do something I knew I wouldn't regret and I think it's safe to say that was my first kiss. I've kissed before, but never quite enough so that it merited italics. And I don't know what to say about it, except that everything I experienced with you was far better than I ever imagined, than I had ever daydreamed.

...I spent all three nights of orientation with you. Completely strange, mostly because neither of us tried to molest the other. There was a mutual understanding about the limits, and I'm continually surprised by the fact that we both communicate orally and on a somewhat psychic level. Nonverbal communication is a little more fuzzy. But there's spontaneity in our action, surprise at every turn and conversation that never runs dry. There are pauses and sighs and it's everything I could ever want. I don't understand it, and I'm scared and nervous and constantly wondering if I should feel this AMAZED at everything. And in the end, I think it's going to be okay. We're completely impossible to name. You and I come across, when we kiss, like a couple. But at the same time it could be said that we are lovers, we also appear as collegues, friends and strangers. We are young and old and I wonder exactly how in the world it's going to work.

It's strange, though. I won't see you for more than a month and while I'm going to miss you I know I will be fine. I'm going to live this month as I've lived and will live. This world is amazing and I fully intend on experiencing it. I plan on loving it, and breathing it in and smiling and laughing and crying and everything.

Hi.

<3

Cassie