#1048283 - Pastie

Theme:
  Tagg

Less talk about this nonsense.

More talk about my 'thingy'.

Go.


--------------------

Batista

THE BATMONTER HAS ARISEN, TAGGMAN.

NOW FACE THE DOOM OF MY PIT OF SNAKES, TOMORROW NIGHT ON RASSLEFEST™


--------------------

Taraus

I heard it was really big.

And hairless.

Y/N?

eta the above was @ tagg. it has nothing to do with rasslefest™.

OR DOES IT?????

This post has been edited by Taraus: Today, 12:21 AM


--------------------

Danith

QUOTE (Taraus @ Jul 16 2010, 12:11 AM) *
AND HOW WOULD YOU KNOW HOW BIG TAGG'S THINGY IS, MISTER???

I dunno, I think I just heard someone talking about it. Gorlasintan, I think.

QUOTE (Laorir @ Jul 16 2010, 12:12 AM) *
Someone get this thread back on topic so I can troll some more. Please?

I'm sorry, if this is 2007, you need to be a lot less combative and a lot more whiny and defensive.

If this was 2007, this thread would've been 50 pages 2 hours after it started. sad.gif

Yes, Laorir, but the only way we're going to get it to 50 pages is if you respond to my subtle jab at you with something that actually sparks outrage from everyone involved.

QUOTE (Batista @ Jul 16 2010, 12:20 AM) *
THE BATMONTER HAS ARISEN, TAGGMAN.

NOW FACE THE DOOM OF MY PIT OF SNAKES, TOMORROW NIGHT ON RASSLEFEST™

Mathonwy, who is new to this idea of posting bull- at a rapid rate, is wondering what Batmonter is, and if it has anything to do with the Ancients and/or any other long-forgotten meme.


--------------------
  

Laorir
	
QUOTE (Danith @ Jul 16 2010, 12:21 AM) *
QUOTE (Laorir @ Jul 16 2010, 12:18 AM) *
QUOTE (Danith @ Jul 16 2010, 12:13 AM) *
QUOTE (Taraus @ Jul 16 2010, 12:11 AM) *
AND HOW WOULD YOU KNOW HOW BIG TAGG'S THINGY IS, MISTER???

I dunno, I think I just heard someone talking about it. Gorlasintan, I think.

QUOTE (Laorir @ Jul 16 2010, 12:12 AM) *
Someone get this thread back on topic so I can troll some more. Please?

I'm sorry, if this is 2007, you need to be a lot less combative and a lot more whiny and defensive.

If this was 2007, this thread would've been 50 pages 2 hours after it started. sad.gif

Yes, Laorir, but the only way we're going to get it to 50 pages is if you respond to my subtle jab at you with something that actually sparks outrage from everyone involved.

Oh, let me try again.

If this were 2007 you'd be quitting Shallam like a pansy because you couldn't take the heat when we started losing. Side switching people like you are what's wrong with Achaea.
--------------------

Mathonwy


	
2/10

Troll harder, Lmaorir.


--------------------

Danith
	
QUOTE (Laorir @ Jul 16 2010, 12:24 AM) *
Oh, let me try again.

If this were 2007 you'd be quitting Shallam like a pansy because you couldn't take the heat when we started losing. Side switching people like you are what's wrong with Achaea.

Mmm, now you've done it.

Faster next time. Harder, too.


--------------------

Batista

	
YOU CAN FIND OUT TOMORROW NIGHT ON RASSLEFEST™

(and afterwards, if you've got a special BACKSTAGE PASS TO THE DOOM OF THE JUDGEMENT DAYMANIA FEST, you can meet Taggman backstage to get all of your awesome RASSLEFEST™ gear signed!)


--------------------

Tagg

	
I MAY HAVE....FALLEN....FOR YOUR PIT OF SNAKES ONCE, BATMONTER. BUT NEVER AGAIN. I KNOW YOU MORE THAN YOU EVEN KNOW YOURSELF. AND BECAUSE OF THIS, YOU STAND NO CHANCE BEFORE MY MIGHTY SHRIEKING CRY OF THE EAGLE.

TOMORROW NIGHT ON RASSLEFEST, for which you may purchase tickets at SuperTickets.com, I WILL BE TRIUMPHANT. YOU DO NOT STAND A CHANCE.


--------------------

Danith




	
You guys suck, I'm a wussy boy who doesn't know any wrestling references. sad.gif


--------------------

Taraus

	
Neither do they, Danith. Neither do they.


--------------------

Mathonwy
	
That's why you need to go to RASSLEFEST. Duh.


--------------------

Laorir

I'm sorry. It's hard to perform when expectations are so high. sad.gif It was a weak attempt, I know sad.gif

--------------------

Mathonwy

	
*soothe*


--------------------

Taraus

	
Just tell him to stare deeply into your avatar, Math. Its oddly hypnotic.


--------------------

Batista

TAGGMAN, YOU HAVE AWAKENED THE MIGHTY BEAST THAT DWELLS DEEP WITHIN BATMONTER AND ALL THE LITTLE BATMANIACS IN THIS LAND.

ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGH I CAN FEEL THEIR POWER, THREATENING TO DESTROY THE HEAVENS AND REAP ASUNDER THE DARKENED SKELETONS OF THE PAST

CAN YOU FEEL IT TAGGMAN!? OH YOU WILL. YOU WILL FEEL IT LIKE A THOUSAND RAMPAGING ELEPHANTS STOMPING ACROSS A 7/11 PARKING LOT.

TAGGMAN, YOU WILL BE DEFEATED AT RASSLEFEST (for which you may purchase tickets now at SuperTickets.com! 50 dollars extra and you little taggermites can meet TAGGMAN backstage after his match!) AND I WILL BE TRIUMPHANT, AS YOUR CRY OF THE EAGLE SHALL BE NO MATCH FOR MY PIT

OF


SNAAAAAAAAAAKES


--------------------


Taraus
	
lmao taggermites

(i think there's a cream for that)

This post has been edited by Taraus: Today, 12:33 AM


--------------------

Tagg

YOUR MIGHTY BEAST THAT SWELLS DEEP WITHIN STANDS NO CHANCE AGAINST THE MASCULINITY I POSSESS. WOMEN SWOON, MEN SPEND EVERY WAKING MOMENT WISHING THEY COULD BE ME, AND EVEN THE OLD SPICE MAN WISHES HE COULD SMELL LIKE ME. WHEN I GRAB AHOLD OF THAT POWER OF MINE, THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE FEELS MY TESTOSTERONE.

ACCOMPANIED BY THE HEARTS AND MINDS OF ALL MY TAGGERMITES (which have the chance to meet me backstage where I will give a personal seminar on growing up to be just as manly as me, for only 50 dollars extra when buying tickets at SuperTickets.com), I SHALL DESTROY YOUR VERY SOUL AS YOU SURRENDER TO THE WORLD-SHATTERING CRY. OF. THE.

EAAAAAAGGGLLLEEEEEEEEEEE!


--------------------

Danith
	
Oh, I see. This is the part where we all sit back and watch Tagg and Batista "wrestle".


--------------------

Taraus
	
No, Danith.

There won't be any "wrestling" until tomorrow night (at Rasslefest™).

This is when they get all sweaty and bothered, preparing themselves for their ultimate showdown in which they wear scant pieces of fabric over their (potentially very big) thingies.


--------------------

Danith

You act like that's not the part I was looking forward to.


--------------------

Batista


YOU HAVE DONE IT

YOU

HAVE DONE IT TAGGMAN

YOUR CRY OF THE EAGLE MAY HAVE FELLED ME AT THE DOOM OF THE JUDGEMENT DAY BATTLEFEST 2009, BUT I HAVE COME BACK STRONGER THAN EVER. MY PIT OF SNAKES HISS LOUDER THAN A MILLION CATS INSIDE AN EASY BAKE OVEN.

YOU AND ALL OF YOUR TAGGERMITES WILL WEEP TEARS OF ANGUISH, AND THE WOMEN WHO SO FAWN OVER YOUR BULGING MUSCLES WILL GO HOME ALONE AS YOU LAY BROKEN AND DEFEATED INSIDE OF MY

PIIIIIIIIIT

OFFFFFFFFFF

SNAAAAAAAAAAKES

TOMMORROW NIGHT ON RASSLEFEST (kids! just $50 dollars extra to be taught how to be a man by the one and only TAGGMAN! SuperTickets.com! Ask your parents permission before using their credit card!) YOUR CRY OF THE EAGLE WILL FALL ON DEAF EARS, AND THE ARENA WILL GO BLACK FOR GOOD AS MY GONG ANNOUNCES THE ENTRANCE OF THE WILY ONE, BATMONTER.


--------------------


shalishaska

	
wtf is wrong with you people


--------------------

Mathonwy

	
Silases, silases everywhere, but not an a silas to smoke.

This post has been edited by Mathonwy: Today, 12:43 AM


--------------------

Tagg


THE ONLY THING YOUR GONG SHALL ANNOUNCE IS THE ARRIVAL OF THE NEW CHAMPION, THE TAGGMAN. YOU MAY HAVE GOTTEN THE BETTER OF ME AT THE GREAT WAR OF THE RING 2009 (which you may order on DVD now at wwashop.com to watch as many times as you like), BUT IT IS MY DESTINY TO BE THE CHAMPION. YOU WILL NOT GET BETWEEN ME AND MY FATE, BATMONTER. FOR THE MIGHTY GOD OF WRESTLING IN TIGHT SPANDEX FOR SOME UNEXPLAINED REASON HAS SPOKEN, AND HE HATH SAID 'TAGGMAN, YOU ARE MY CHAMPION.' AND SO IT SHALL BE!

SO TOMORROW NIGHT AT RASSLEFEST (kids, just use the credit card. your father will be proud of the man you wish to become, and your mother will be too busy dreaming of me to be mad at you), I SHALL FOLLOW THROUGH AND SHOW THE WORLD THE WAY OF THE WRESTLING IN TIGHT SPANDEX GOD. AND WHEN YOU ARE SUBJECTED TO MY CRY OF THE EAGLE, YOU WILL WEEP TEARS OF JOY KNOWING YOU PLAYED YOUR PART WELL IN DETERMINING MY FATE. TOMORROW NIGHT, MY TALONS WILL BE SHARP AND READY. TOMORROW NIGHT, YOU WILL FALL BEFORE MY MIGHTY

CRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

ofthe

EAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

This post has been edited by Tagg: Today, 12:50 AM


--------------------

Batista


THE GREAT WAR OF THE RING 2009 (on sale now at wwashop.com, watch with your friends! make them buy copies!) WAS NO MISTAKE, AND YOUR GREAT SPANDEX-WEARING GOD OF WRESTLING IS BUT ANOTHER FALSE GOD IN A SERIES CONTINUED FROM ZEUS TO MOST RECENTLY NICK NOLTE.

THIS BELT, THIS STRAP OF LEATHER AND GOLD-PLATED STAINLESS STEEL, MEANS MORE TO THE BATMONTER AND ALL THE LITTLE BATMANIACS THAN YOU CAN EVER IMAGINE. WE WOULD -DIE- FOR THIS BELT, AND I AM WILLING TO DESTROY YOU AND ALL THAT YOU LOVE INSIDE THE RING AT RASSLEFEST (tomorrow night! time is running out, get those credit cards out and ORDER YOUR TICKET NOW!).

THE PIT OF SNAKES SHALL SWALLOW YOU, MY VENOM IS FIERCE, AND I CAN SMELL YOUR BODY HEAT AND SENSE YOUR FEAR. I SEE IT IN YOUR EYES, TAGGMAN. YOU KNOW THE END IS NEAR!

TOMORROW!

NIGHT!

RASSLEFEST™


--------------------

Rynn
	
This thread just got about OVER NINE THOUSAND times better.


--------------------

Sibrint

QUOTE (Rynn @ Jul 16 2010, 12:54 AM) *
This thread just got about OVER NINE THOUSAND times better.

 
--------------------

Boz


QUOTE (Rynn @ Jul 16 2010, 12:54 AM) *
This thread just got about OVER NINE THOUSAND times better.

And the best part is, not even -they- know what they're saying at this point.


--------------------

Synbios

QUOTE (Rynn @ Jul 16 2010, 12:54 PM) *
This thread just got about OVER NINE THOUSAND times better.



--------------------

Mathonwy

Best line so far: 'a million cats inside an easy bake oven'


--------------------

Boz
	
QUOTE (Mathonwy @ Jul 16 2010, 12:57 AM) *
Best line so far: 'a million cats inside an easy bake oven'

Yes, I agree completely.


--------------------

Taraus

[image of taggman vs batmonter]


--------------------

Rynn
	
i dont even what is this but I WANT TO GO TO RASSLEFEST, and the tickets are only 50 dollars! What a steal!


--------------------

Tagg

I ONLY LOST AT THE GREAT WAR OF THE RING 2009 (which everyone and their friends and their friends friends and their friends friends dogs should buy at wwashop.com) TO A LUCKY SHOT FROM YOUR PIT OF THE SNAKES, BATMONTER. YOUR CRAZED BATMANIACS DISTRACTED ME WITH THEIR UNHOLY WAYS, BUT I AM MORE FOCUSED THAN EVER BEFORE. I HAVE TRAINED IN THE MIDDLE OF VOLCANOES. AT THE TOP OF THE HIMALAYAS AFTER CLIMBING THEM WITH BOTH HANDS TIED BEHIND MY BACK. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE AMAZON RIVER AMIDST PIRANHA, WHERE I DEFEATED SEVENTY THREE ANACONDAS ALONE AND UNARMED TO LEARN THE SECRETS OF YOUR PIT OF SNAKES.

AND NOW, BATMONTER. NOW, I AM READY. I AM PREPARED. AND TOMORROW NIGHT AT RASSLEFEST (seriously, why have you -not- bought tickets yet. Go buy them. SuperTickets.com. Now), YOUR EARDRUMS WILL BE SHATTERED BY MY CRY OF THE EAGLE. WOMEN'S UNDERWEAR SHALL FALL TO THE FLOOR AT MY MANLINESS. VOICES WILL BE HEARD AROUND THE WORLD CHEERING FOR THE NEW CHAMPION, AND EASY BAKE OVENS WILL BE CATLESS, AS THEY WERE MEANT TO BE.


--------------------

Batista

OH TAGGMAN, YOU ARE SO NAIVE. MY SECRETS WILL NOT BE UNCOVERED SIMPLY BY GREASING ONE'S BODY AND SLIDING UP AND DOWN ANACONDAS FOR A WEEKEND. NO, I HAVE SPENT MANY HOURS PERFECTING THE

PIT

OF


SNAAAAAAAAKES

AND YOU, TAGGMAN, SHALL NOT REMOVE THE FELINES FROM MY EASY BAKE OVEN SO EASILY.

I HAVE AN EVEN BIGGER SECRET... OUR MATCH HAS BEEN TURNED INTO A TAG MATCH, TAGGMAN!

HAHA YES LOOK AT THE SURPRISE ON YOUR FACE! OH YES, AND MY TAG PARTNER IS NONE OTHER THAN...


.....


AHAHAHAHA, YES! LISTEN TO THAT MUSIC! RYNN-10-10! HE AND I SHALL ENSURE YOUR DEFEAT AT THE VIPROUS LOCKS OF THE PIT

OF
SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKES!

TOMORROW NIGHT ON RASSLEFEST™ (buy tickets NOW! SuperTickets.com! $10 dollars off the TAGGMAN meet-and-greet if you enter the code 'imataggermite')


--------------------

Rynn
	
THAT'S RIGHT TAGGMAN. YOU'VE GOT NO CHANCE AGAINST THE BATMONTER AND HIS PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT OF SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKES COMBINED WITH THE SPINNING DECAKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK. YOUR MASCULINITY WILL NOT SAVE YOU THIS RASSLEFEST (tickets on sale at only 50 dollars at Supertickets.com!) YOUR TAGGEMITES WILL BE SORELY DISAPPOINTED AS YOU FALL TO THE COMBINED POWERS OF THE BATMONTER AND RYNN-10-10!

YOU MAY AS WELL LAY DOWN NOW, TAGGMAN. YOU'RE GOING DOWN THIS RASSLEFEST (again, tickets at Supertickets.com! Get them while we still have them!)


--------------------

Tagg

YOU HAVE SURPRISED ME, BATMONTER. I WAS NOT EXPECTING A TAG MATCH, BUT YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE MADE SO GRAVE A MISTAKE. FOR THE TAGGMAN IS THE MASTER OF THE TAG TEAM MATCHES. TAGGMAN CAN TAG BETTER THAN ANYONE HAS EVER TAGGED BEFORE IN A TAG TEAM MATCH WITH TAGGMAN. YOU STAND NO CHANCE, BATMONTER, ESPECIALLY BECAUSE I AM BEING TOLD THE TAGGMAN'S TAG TEAM PARTNER IS BEING TAGGED IN AS THE TAGGMAN SPEAKS...

AND AS YOU HEAR THAT MUSIC, BATMONTER, THE TAGGMAN'S TAG TEAM PARTNER IS NONE OTHER THAN...DANIBOY. THE GREAT TAG TEAM OF THE TAGGMAN AND DANIBOY ARE BACK FOR ONE LAST NIGHT OF TAGGING TERROR, FOR ONE NIGHT ONLY TOMORROW NIGHT AT RASSLEFEST™ (tickets going fast, and get 15 dollars off the TAGGMAN meet-and-greet if you enter the code 'batmontersux').

COMBINED WITH THE POWER OF DANIBOY, YOU AND RYNN-10-10 STAND NO CHANCE AGAINST THE CRY. OF. THE.

EAAAAAAAAAGLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!


--------------------

Batista


HA! DANIBOY! RYNN-10-10 AND BATMONTER SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT YOU WOULD DRAG UP HIS BONES FOR ONE FINAL MATCH!

BUT NO MATTER! MY VENOM BURNS ALL, AND NONE SHALL BE SAFE FROM OUR FURY! YOUR CRY OF THE EAGLE SHALL BE RENDERED SILENT BY A DECAKIIIIIIIIIIICK TO THE THROAT, YOUR LUNGS WILL SHATTER AND YOUR VOICE WILL BLEED!

AND DANIBOY WILL COWER IN THE CORNER, AND BE SWALLOWED WHOLE BY THE PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

OFFFFFFFFFFFFFf
SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKES!!!!!!!

TOMMORROW NIGHT (SuperTickets.com! Final chance, kids!), IT IS ON!


--------------------

Darroth

Stop derailing, esp when you're not funny.

--------------------

Boz
	
QUOTE (Darroth @ Jul 16 2010, 01:27 AM) *
Stop derailing, esp when you're not funny.

Gtfo, this is far more entertaining than anything that's been on the forums in forever.


--------------------

Taraus
	
I dunno about the rest of you, but I wouldn't miss this for the world. I just got my ticket. See?

[superticket img]


--------------------

Boz

	
QUOTE (Taraus @ Jul 16 2010, 01:29 AM) *
I dunno about the rest of you, but I wouldn't miss this for the world. I just got my ticket. See?



And cheese, and a hamcomb? Huh, sounds like a party. Tailgate with me?


--------------------

Taraus

	
That's hamCOMBO, duh.

And sure. But I'm leaving early, I want to get a good place in line for the Taggman's meet and greet.


--------------------

  Rynn
	
HA! DANIBOY WILL FALL JUST LIKE MATHONAR (watch it on Friday Night Battlestars!) TO MY DECAKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK. TAGGMAN, YOU'RE GOING TO WISH THAT YOU HAD A BETTER TAG PARTNER BECAUSE DANIBOY WILL DRAG YOU DOWN TO THE GROUND WITH HIM! NOT EVEN YOUR KICK. OF. THE. EAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGLE. WILL STOP DANIBOY FROM BEING DESTROYED BY THE POWERS OF THE DECAKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK AND THE PIT. OF.

SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKES.

PRAY TO THE ALMIGHTY SPANDEX GODS THAT THE BATMONTER AND RYNN-10-10 SHOW MERCY ON YOUR SOUL THIS RASSLEFEST (get your tickets at Supertickets.com while you still can! Enter "daniboyfails" at the official WWA website to receive a FREE TAGGMAN-DANIBOY vs BATMONTER-RYNN-10-10 T-Shirt!)


--------------------

Boz
	
(Wtb video if this fight actually happens)


--------------------

Tagg
	

GO BACK IN YOUR CORNER, DARDURDUR. YOU HAVEN'T WON A MATCH SINCE PITY THAT FOOL 2007 (which may be bought at wwashop.com, but I wouldn't recommend it. It was pretty sad, but we got paid a lot to let him win.) THIS IS BETWEEN MYSELF, THE BATMONTER, AND OUR TAG TEAM PARTNERS.

YOUR TIME WILL COME, BATMONTER. AND WHEN IT DOES, YOU WILL KNOW CRUSHING DEFEAT AT THE HANDS OF THE MIGHTIEST TAG TEAM OF ALL TIME, THE MANBOYS. YOU, RYNN-10-10, AND YOUR VENOM WILL ALL BE RENDERED IMPOTENT WHEN WE COMBINE OUR GREATEST ATTACKS, FORMING THE ASSAULT OF THE GRYPHON. AND WHEN THE GRYPHON DESCENDS, BATMONTER, NOTHING IS LEFT STANDING IN IT'S WAKE. AND THEN I SHALL REIGN AGAIN, THE GREATEST CHAMPION OF ALL TIME.

TOMORROW NIGHT, BATMONTER. TOMORROW NIGHT (SuperTickets.com has a few tickets left! Get them quickly!), I WILL BRING THE GREATEST PAIN YOU HAVE EVER SUFFERED. THE PAIN OF....

DEFEAT!


--------------------

Batista

MATHONAR STANDS NO CHANCE BEFORE THE MIGHT OF THE DECAKIIIIIIIIIIIIICK, RYNN-10-10. YOU AND I BOTH KNOW THAT IT HAS FELLED EVERY SINGLE OPPONENT IT HAS CARESSED IN THE FACE.

EXCEPT FOR ONE...

WHEN WE ARE DONE WITH TAGGMAN AND DANIBOY AT RASSLEFEST™ (Tickets still on sale at SuperTickets.com! Buy them now! PROMO CODE 'dontdeleteus') WE SHALL TRAIN UNTIL YOU ARE READY TO DEFEAT THE WORLD HEAVYSUPERWEIGHT H-DIVISION MEN'S CHAMPION...

BOZTICK.


--------------------

Tagg

DANIBOY IS TWO HUNDRED THOUSAND, THREE HUNDRED, AND FIFTY-SEVEN TIMES THE BOY MATHONAR IS, RYNN-10-10. AND THE ASSAULT OF THE GRYPHON WILL LEAVE YOU IMPOTENT AND WOMANIZED, UNABLE TO PERFORM IN THE BEDR...I MEAN, UNABLE TO PERFORM THE DECAKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK. AND THEN THE GRYPHON SHALL DESTROY EVERYTHING YOU HOLD DEAR, RYNN-10-10.


--------------------

Mathonwy
	
RYNN-10-10, I HAVE SLAIN YOUR GODS WITH THE POWER OF MY RAGNAROCKET FIST! I HAVE SHREDDED THEIR SPANDEX IN ANTICIPATION OF THE COMPLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLETE DEVASTATION I WILL INFLICT ON YOU! SO GREAT IS MY WRRRRRRRRRRRRATH THAT NOT EVEN THE COMBINED POWERS OF BATMONTER AND TAGGMAN WILL BE ABLE TO PIECE YOU BACK TOGETHER AGAIN! I HAVE HEARD RUMORS OF YOUR DECAKIIIIIIIIIICK AND IT IS NOTHING COMPARED TO THE MATHOWNAGE WAITING IN STORE FOR YOU. MY WRATH WILL CRASH UPON YOU HARDER, FASTER, AND LOWER THAN THE STOCK MARKET AFTER THE 'NET BUBBLE BURST (speaking of the internet, get on it right now and order NOW on Pay-Per-View and get TWENTY DOLLARS off of RASSLEFEST! They're going fast!).

AS FOR YOU, BATMONTER, I SEE YOU IN RYNN-10-10'S CORNER, AND I HOPE THAT YOU ARE PREPARED FOR THE GRISLY SCENE OF VIOLENCE I HAVE IN STORE FOR HIM! FIRST I WILL BREAK HIM LIKE SO MANY CARS IN TRAILER PARK YARDS, AND THEN I WILL TIE YOU INTO THE CORNER WITH YOUR GODS' SPANDEX AND SHOW YOU WHAT EASYBAKE OVENS ARE FOR!


--------------------

Batista

	
SO MATHONAR SPEAKS!

MATHONAR, TAGGMAN, DANIBOY. YOU THREE ARE MARKED MEN, AND YOU SHALL FALL BEFORE THE RAMPAGING ELEPHANTS OF THE BATMONTER'S PAST. BEFORE YOU LIES A CHOICE, EXIT STAGE LEFT, EXIT STAGE RIGHT.

YOU WILL DESCEND INTO MADNESS, AND THE DESTRUCTION YOU THREE HAVE SOWN WILL BE ENGULFED IN THE ULTIMATE FINISHING MANEUVER DEVISED BY ANY GROUP OF MEN AT RASSLEFEST™ (tickets nearly sold out at SuperTickets.com! GET YOURS NOW!)...


THE SCREAMING COUGAR


--------------------

Mathonwy

	
YOUR ELEPHANTS WILL FALL BEFORE MY HANNIBAL'S RAMPAGE, BATMONTER! I WILL TAME YOUR COUGAR AND USE IT TO LEAD THE MILLION CAT VENGEANCE YOU WILL FIND UNLEASHED UPON YOU.

This post has been edited by Mathonwy: Today, 01:52 AM


--------------------

Gibbi

	
Anyone got a spare 50 bucks I can borrow? I can pay you back in 2 weeks.

--------------------
	
rledaman

*I could seriously just dub this over any WWE or whatever the hell they are calling themselves these days and it would match perfectly. Its truly epic*


--------------------

Batista
	
AU CONT... I DONT THINK SO, MATHONAR.

AT MIGHTY WARRIORMANIA 2010 (on sale now at wwashop.com, pay 23 dollars extra and receive the FREE WORLD SUPERCHAMP MATHONAR action figure!) YOU MAY HAVE GOTTEN ONE OVER ON BATMONTER, BUT THE SKIES HAVE SWITCHED OVER, AND THE BATHING LIONS HAVE DESCENDED INTO THE FIFTH EQUINOX OF BETAMAX, AND YOUR TIME HAS RUN OUT

AND TAGGMAN, DO NOT THINK THAT I HAVE FORGOTTEN ABOUT YOUR TREACHERY AT THE SAME EVENT! WHEN YOU GAVE BATMONTER A CHAIRSHOT TO THE BACK OF THE SKULL! NEVER HAVE I BEEN CROSSED SO BADLY SINCE THE TIME YOU DID IT BEFORE.

TOMORROW NIGHT AT RASSLEFEST™ (SuperTickets.com, nearly sold out! Only 600 tickets remain!), RYNN-10-10 AND I SHALL MAKE YOU PAY WITH OUR SCREAMING COUGAR!


--------------------

Rynn

YOU ARE FOOLING YOURSELF IF YOU BELIEVE THAT YOUR RAGNAROCKET FIST WILL PREVENT YOUR ULTIMATE DECIMATION. I WILL SMEAR YOU ACROSS THE ARENA LIKE I SPREAD BUTTER OF PAIN ON THE TOAST OF TERROR. YOU WILL CRUMBLE TO THE GROUND, BROKEN AND DEFEATED LIKE THE EASY BAKE OVEN THAT THE BATMONTER AND I WILL RAVAGE, SAVING MILLIONS OF CATS FROM THE TAGGMAN AND HIS KICK OF THE EAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGLE.

BATMONTER, I WILL SUPPORT YOU BETTER THAN A SLEEP NUMBER BED IN OUR TAG MATCH AGAINST TAGGMAN AND DANIBOY BECAUSE MATHONER WILL NOT BE ABLE TO EVEN MAKE ME SWEAT. YOU MAY NOT EVEN HAVE TO USE YOUR PIT OF SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKES BECAUSE THE DECIKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK WILL TAKE OUT BOTH THE TAGGMAN AND DANIBOY. THIS RASSLEFEST (tickets are almost sold out! Buy them now or a sack of puppies might have an unfortunate accident!) WILL BE A TESTAMENT TO OUR MIGHT AND POWER.


--------------------

Taraus

I saw that chairshot. It was pretty brutal, especially considering it was a STEEL chair. Oh my gawd, I swear, it was like he was broke in half.


--------------------

Tagg
	
YOU SPEAK A BIG GAME BATMONTER AND RYNN-10-10, BUT NOBODY SPEAKS LOUDER THAN MY CRY OF THE EAGLE. THIS SHALL BE MADE CLEAR TOMORROW AT RAFFLEFEST™ (those tickets are going -fast- people, buy buy buy!) WHEN YOU WILL BE CRYING FOR MOMMY AND WISHING YOU WERE BACK ON HER TEAT FROM THE GRIEVOUS AMOUNT OF PAIN INFLICTED UPON YOU.

I WILL LEAVE YOU BROKEN MEN, INCAPABLE OF ANY THOUGHT BUT FEAR OF THE ALMIGHTY GOD WHO WRESTLES IN SPANDEX, AND THE BELT OF STAINLESS STEEL WITH GOLD PAINT COVERING IT ALONG WITH A LOT OF OTHER FAKE STUFF THAT DOESN'T LOOK REMOTELY REAL WILL BE MINE FOR ALL ETERNITY.

RYNN-10-10, THE ONLY SUPPORT YOU WILL BE ABLE TO SHOW THE BATMONTER IS GIVING HIM A (really really broken) SHOULDER TO CRY ON AS I RIP THE CHAMPIONSHIP BELT (replicas of which you may buy at wwashop.com, even faker then the real fake one!) FROM HIS QUIVERING FINGERS.

AND THEN DANIBOY SHALL SET UPON YOU LIKE AN ENRAGED FIELD MOUSE, AND WHOSE SHOULDER WILL YOU BE ABLE TO CRY ON, RYNN-10-10?

--------------------

Mathonwy
	
I WILL WRAP YOU IN A TAQUITO OF TORTURE, RYNN-10-10, AND SERVE IT WITH A GLASS OF YOUR SPANDEX GODS' SWEATY TEARS! THE PROPHETS HAVE SPOKEN; I WILL BUUUUUUUURN YOUR TOAST OF TERROR WITH MY MICROWAVE MANIA! MEGA-MATHOWNAGE WILL PREVAIL!

ONCE MORE WILL WE MEET ON THE HONOURABLE FIELD OF BATTLE, BATMONTER, AND ONCE MORE WILL I WIELD THE CHAIR AND WHIP OF BATHING-LION TAMING! THEIR THICK MANES WILL COMPLEMENT THE FEROCIOUS FELINE FURY IN STORE FOR YOU AT RASSLEFEST (tomorrow! Buy your tickets now and get an autographed spandex suit from YOUR CHOICE of BATMONTER, TAGGMAN, RYNN-10-10, or DANIBOY!).


--------------------

Batista

YOU PITIFUL FOOLS! RYNN-10-10 AND I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT! THIS SHOWDOWN WAS FORESHADOWED MANY WEEKS AGO WHEN I FOUND DARDURDUR SLEEPING IN A POOL OF HIS OWN BLOOD, AND WRITTEN ACROSS HIS BACK WAS THE SYMBOL FOR THE

CRY OF THE EAGLE!

OUR FALLEN MUST BE AVENGED, AND YOUR SOULS SHALL BE DESTROYED AS THE CHEESEBURGER OF MICHAEL MOORE. YOUR EYES SHALL BOGGLE IN AMAZEMENT AS YOU ARE TRANSFIXED BY THE

PIT
OF
SNAKES

AND CUT DOWN BRUTALLY BY THE DECAKIIIIIIIIICK

BUT ONLY THEN HAS YOUR MISERY BEGUN, AS THE SCREAMING COUGAR SHALL BE UNLEASHED, AND YOUR TAQUITO OF TORTURE SHALL BE RENDERED STALE AND INEDIBLE AT RASSLEFEST (sign on to SuperTickets.com now with your PREMIUM CRUSHER PASS and get a discount on our SUPER DELUXE MEGANOM SIPPER CUPS at your local 7/11!)

OH HOW THE MIGHTY TREMBLE BEFORE THE SCREAMING COUGAR


--------------------

  Dinkybarrel
	
Post to say that I was there when the fight was still happening


--------------------

  Rynn
	
YOU'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO CONTAIN MY POWER IN A TAQUITO OF TORTURE, MATHONAR. I WILL BRING YOU DOWN UPON A STACK OF TABLES LIKE A CRAFTSMAN 19 OZ. HEAVY CONSTRUCTION STEEL HANDLE HAMMER (available at Sears for the low price of $34.99!) ON A STACK OF THE PANCAKES OF PREJUDICE. YOUR RAGNAROCKET FIST WILL PUTTER OUT LIKE AN OLDER VEHICLE RUNNING OUT OF GAS AND I WILL MAKE YOUR CHIN INTO A BOWL SO DEEP WITH MY DECIKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK THAT IT WILL HOLD THE TEARS OF DANIBOY WITH RELATIVE EASE.

SURRENDER NOW, MATHONAR OR BE A MILD WARMUP FOR MY TAG MATCH WITH THE BATMONTER AGAINST THE TAGGMAN AND DANIBOY.


--------------------

  Mathonwy
	
I WILL RIDE UPON THE TAGGMAN'S SCRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREAMING EAGLE, THUS ENTIRELY BYPASSING YOUR

PIT
OF
SNAKES!

YES, THAT'S RIGHT! IN A SURPRISE QUADRUPLE-TWIST, DANIBOY HAS BEEN ELIMINATED FROM COMPETITION AS HE HAS BEEN SPYING FOR YOU THIS WHOLE TIME! YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST FOLKS!

MY RAGNAROCKET FIST WILL DROP UPON RYNN-10-10 JUST AS IT DID DARDURDUR! UNLIKE D.D.D'S BLOOD, I MANAGED TO REFRIDGERATE THE TAQUITO OF TORTURE, AND JUST AS I RUINED THE TOAST OF TERROR, SO TOO SHALL I REWARM YOUR JUST DESSERTS! REVENGE IS A DISH BEST SERVED COLD, BATMONTER, AND YOURS WILL BE LUKEWARM AT BEST! THE FEROCIOUS FELINE FURY SHALL BE TURNED UPON YOU LIKE A SHAGGY-HAIRED, HOUSE-BROKEN BENEDICT ARNOLD!

AND I SEE YOUR PETULANT POWERTOOLS, RYNN-10-10! THE UTTER DEVASTATION DELIVERED IN MY RAGNAROCKET FIST WILL KNOCK YOU BACK TO THE DARK AGES, AND WHAT GOOD WILL YOUR TOOLS BE THEN! ALL TOMORROW AT RASSLEFEST (tickets still available! You know you want to attend and shake the hand of our VERY SPECIAL MYSTERY GUEST)!

This post has been edited by Mathonwy: Today, 02:22 AM


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Batista


NO ONE CAN ESCAPE THE VENOMOUSLY ACIDIC GRASP OF THE

PIT
OF
SNAAAAAAAKES

YOUR TAQITOS ARE NO MATCH FOR THE SCREAMING COUGAR. WHEN MY SHOEHORNED BANSHEES FLY PERILOUSLY OVER YOUR TOAST OF TERROR, THE CRY OF THE EAGLE CANNOT TURN BACK THE WRITTEN ALPINES OF ALLITERATION.

YOUR WAYS SHALL BE DESTROYED, AND YOUR BODY SHALL GO LIMP FROM THE RELENTLESS ASSAULT OF THE BAT-2-RYNN NATION!

(Get your AWESOME BAT-2-RYNN NATION tshirt at wwashop.com tonight! Wear it tomorrow at RASSLEFEST, whose tickets are selling now, and show your pride for the team!)


--------------------

  ridion

I whole-heartily approve of this as the new War system for Achaea. Anyone who can be this a) masculine, b) egotistical, and c) radical with usage of animal names in the creation of devices of torture (slash entertainment) would make for an excellent MoW.
Rynn (-10-10) for returning to Cyrene and being the best damn MoW ever.


--------------------


Batista
	
THE SCREAM OF THE COUGAR KNOWS NO LIMITS, AND THE DECAKIIIIIIIIICK CARESSES ALL, YOUNG RYNN-10-TEAMSTER


--------------------

Mayapple
	
Are there group discounts for college students with a valid ID?

--------------------

Batista

*start video*

Clouds rumbling... overhead....

Thunderous voices across the valley (oh my god this one's gonna be a slobberknock-OH MY GOD THE LADDER-Taggman, is on form tonight-THE SCREAM OF THE COUGAR!)

No one knew what to expect...

<Batmonter in a headlock, getting his face smashed into a turnbuckle, Daniboy getting kicked in the throat by Rynn-10-10>

Blood, and sacrifice, they have given it all...

for RASSLEFEST™!

Don't miss out on this special event, LIVE TOMORROW NIGHT!

(special discounts for college students with a valid ID!)

*video ends in white noise*

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  Rynn
	
YOU IGNORANT FOOL! TOOLS WOULD BE AMAZINGLY HELPFUL IN THE DARK AGES. TOOLS ARE WHAT SET HUMANS APART FROM ANIMALS, BUT I DIGRESS. THE ONLY THING THAT WILL BE SET APART WILL BE YOUR LIMBS, MATHONAR. I'M GOING TO THROW YOU AROUND THE MAT IN SUCH A VIOLENT FASHION THAT YOUR FANS WILL SINCERELY FEAR FOR YOUR WELFARE. THERE WILL BE AN AMBULANCE ON STANDBY, WAITING TO CART YOUR BROKEN FORM OUT OF THE BUILDING.

UNLESS!

UNLESS YOU ARE WILLING TO TURN THIS MATCH (on Friday Night Battlestars!) INTO A

CAGE

MATCH

OF

ANNIHILATION.

CAN YOU HANDLE THE PROSPECT OF BEING TORN APART LIKE A CAJUN MAN TEARS APART MOUNDS OF CRAWFISH, UNABLE TO CRAWL AWAY TO SAFETY LIKE A SMALL CHILD? YOU DON'T STAND A CHANCE AND YOU KNOW IT. TURN THE OFFER DOWN LIKE YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO, COWARD.


--------------------

  Mathonwy


OH HO HO! I SEE YOU'VE TRIED TO WHIP THE BANSHEES INTO SHAPE WITH SHOEHORNS, BUT THEY ARE NO MATCH FOR THE SCREAMING EAGLE, COUSIN TO THE SCREAMING COUGAR BUT DISTINCTLY DIFFERENT FROM THE FEROCIOUSLY FANATICAL FATAL FELINE FRENZY! YOU SEE, MY MANAICAL MAGIMONKEYS WILL SHARPSHOOT YOUR BASIC BANSHEES OUT OF THE ATMOSPHERE, JUST AS THE BAT-2-RYNN NATION WILL FALL CRIPPLED WHEN THE MATTAG LIGHT SHINES UPON YOUR TOOTHLESS TAUNTS! THE RAGNAROCKIN' SCREAMING EAGLE WILL FEAST UPON YOUR PIT

OF

SNAKES

BEFORE HUMILIATING YOU IN FRONT OF MILLIONS OF VIEWERS (can't make it to the show? Order pay-per-view online now and get a FREE promotional poster)! I WILL FEAST UPON THE GLORY OF THE DAY JUST AS I HAVE UPON THE ANTIDOTE TO THE PIT
OF
SNAKES!

RASSLEFEST 2010! BUY YOUR TICKETS NOW!


--------------------

Laorir


This is just as bad as real wrestling. You sit there saying "I can't believe I'm watching this," but you just can't turn away no matter how hard you try.

-------------------

Mysterion

	
Wow. I don't know wtf happened there? But I want a Batista shirt.


--------------------

Batista


A MATCH OF ANNIHILATION IS JUST WHAT THE DOCTOR ORDERED, RYNN-10-10!

YOU SEE, EONS AGO MATHONAR TOOK IT UPON HIMSELF TO INTRODUCE A 2x4 TO THE BACK OF MY SKULL WITH RECKLESS ABANDON.

LET US SEE HOW YOU WILL SURVIVE, MATHONAR, WHEN YOU ARE IN THE SAME PREDICAMENT! THE CAGE OF AGONY SHALL DESCEND, AND IT WILL BE JUST YOU AND RYNN-10-10 AND AAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLL THE RYNN-10-TEAMERS CHEERING HIM ON! YOU WILL BE DESTROYED AND YOUR USELESS HUSK TOSSED ASIDE AS YOU ARE TAKEN IN BY THE

LAWNMOWER
OF
CHAOS
!!!!!!!

CHAOS!


ALL TONIGHT ON FRIDAY NIGHT BATTLESTARS™

--------------------
  Mathonwy

	
WE ALL REMEMBER THE TRIUMPH THAT I DELIVERED TO THE BACK OF YOUR SKULL, BATMONTER, WHEN I WAS KNOWN AS 'HACKSAW' JIMATHONWY! IT WAS THIS DEVASTATING BLOW DELIVERED SO SKILLFULLY THAT LED TO MY UNDERSTANDING OF THE MATHOWNAGE I WAS CAPABLE OF DELIVERING.

AND DELIVER I SHALL, TOMORROW AT RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRASSLEFEST 2010!

I WILL BLUNT THE BLADES OF THE LAWNMOWER OF CHAOS!!!!! WITH THE 2X4 OF TREPIDATION! I WILL UNLEASH TO WEEDEATER OF WRECKAGE UPON YOUR CAREFULLY MAINTAINED LAWN OF PRIDE! BACK DOWN NOW, BEFORE YOU BECOME FERTILIZER FOR THE MATTAGG HEADQUARTERS!

CATCH ALL THE ACTION TONIGHT ON BATTLESTARS AND TOMORROW AT R R R R R R RASSLEFEST! OPEN TO CHILDREN OF ALL AGES-- COLLEGE STUDENTS AND KIDS UNDER 8 GET IN FREE!

This post has been edited by Mathonwy: Today, 02:48 AM


--------------------


Batista


YOUR MATHSAW DAYS ARE LONG GONE, PITIFUL PENSIONER!

I HAVE UNCOVERED THE SECRET TO YOUR WEEDEATER OF WRECKAGE AND WILL COUNTER WITH MY AXEKICK OF BREAKINGSTUFF. YOU SHALL NOT ESCAPE UNSCATHED, AS THE SEVENTH CREST OF THE RISING FLAMINGO SOARS INTO THE HEAVENS, AND THE SERENE CLOCK OF YESTERDAY HAS COME BACK FULL CIRCLE

YOUR FATE IS SEALED, TOMORROW AT RASSLEFEST™ (Batmonter shirts will be given away free at the door to the first 100 people! BE THERE!)


--------------------

  Rynn
	
I'M SURPRISED YOU FOUND THE GUTS TO ACCEPT SUCH A CHALLENGE, MATHONAR. AS THE BATMONTER SAYS, YOU ARE GOING TO GET MOWED DOWN LIKE A TEXAN'S YARD THE DAY AFTER A RAINY DAY DURING THE SUMMER. MY DECIKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK WILL TOSS YOU INTO TEN DIFFERENT CORNERS OF THE CAGE. YOUR FACE WILL RESEMBLE A CONSIDERABLY OLDER PERSON'S FACE AFTER THEY FELL DOWN THE STAIRS AND SMASHED THEIR FACE INTO A WALL AFTER THE RYNN RAGE HAS BEEN RELEASED UPON YOU.

TONIGHT ON FRIDAY NIGHT BATTLESTARS, I WILL BREAK YOU DOWN INTO SEVERAL MEATY CHUNKS THAT ARE NOT QUITE SUITABLE FOR GRILLING, AND THEN I WILL FEED THEM TO THE TAGGMAN IN OUR UPCOMING TAG MATCH ON RASSLEFESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSST! YOUR 2X4 OF TREPIDATION WILL BREAK ITSELF AT FIRST SIGHT OF MY POWERFUL CHUCK-NORRIS ASPIRING LEGS.

AND JUST WHEN YOU THINK YOU'RE FINALLY ABLE TO LIMP YOUR WAY HOME, THE BATMONTER WILL BE UPON YOU, EXACTING REVENGE UPON YOUR PITIFUL HUSK OF A BODY.


--------------------

  Mathonwy
	
RYNN-10-10, THERE AREN'T THAT MANY CORNERS IN A CAGE, BUT THERE WILL BE AFTER I AM DONE WITH YOU! I WILL BLOCK YOUR DECIKIIIIIIIIICK AND AGE YOU PREMATURELY AS THE WRATH OF MY WOLFENFIST BREAKS UPON YOUR BODY IN THE WAY THAT YOUR SCREAMING COUGAR ISN'T (HOUSEBROKEN)!

PITIFUL COMBATANTS, THE TIME FOR WORDS HAS DRAWN TO AN END. I HAVE SET YOUR FLAMINGOS AFLAME AND EVEN NOW THEY SAIL THROUGH THE NIGHT, ARCING FLAMES-- THE VERY SAME FLAMES THAT WILL BURN YOU AND NOT THE NON-EXISTING MEATY CHUNKS OF ME, WHICH AS YOU CAN CLEARLY SEE ARE STILL FIRMLY UN-CHUNKED, AND WILL SCARE THE BATMONTER BACK TO HIS CAVE OF COWARDICE!

BUT AS YOU HAVE SAID, THE CLOCK HAS COME FULL-CIRCLE AND THE TIME GROWS LATE. THE TIME FOR WORDS GROWS LATE-- THE FESTIVITIES WILL SOON BEGIN! FELLOW ON-LOOKERS, WAIT FOR OUR BRAWL AT NORTH OF NEW THERA TOMORROW, FOR THE TIME GROWS EVEN NOW TO A CLOSE!

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRASSLEFEST! IT WILL BE HERE SOON! WATCH FOR US AT NORTH OF NEW THERA!

(this is how the public board should read during times of war)

This post has been edited by Mathonwy: Today, 03:08 AM


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